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What Lifelong Grieving Looks Like

“There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There’s .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I’m likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you ... Read More »

Christus Consolator (Repost)

I just realized what today is. It’s funny how mourning works. I’ve written the date today – 6/11. But it wasn’t until I just looked at my calendar that today is the day my sweet Daddy Will died twenty three years ago. So I’m reposting this piece from college in his honor, because it’s the best way I know how. Time marches on, but I still miss him often.  ______________________________ At four years old, I had no idea what “cancer” meant. My mother had noticed a lump on the right side of my father’s neck in July of 1989. Neither of ... Read More »

Christus Consolator (Revisited)

Twenty-one years ago today my birth father, Will Simmons, passed away. It’s hard to know how to honor someone in a ritual sense when you live three hours away from their gravesite, and can’t participate in the tradition of leaving flowers or sharing memories with family. Honestly, the thought that his ashes and beloved hiking boots are buried in my childhood church cemetery doesn’t hold all that much power for me, considering my belief in my father’s eternal life spent with his Savior. I believe he is best honored through the recollection of memories and the sharing of stories. I ... Read More »

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